Five Blondes That Were Never Called
by AkatsukiDaybreak
Summary: Five ficlets about blondes made into slayers by Willow's spell.
1. Scrubs

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Scrubs, Death Note, Friends, the Big Bang Theory, or Law and Order.

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"So will you help me with my screenplay?" asks J.D.

"J.D.! If I knew you were going to be this annoying, I would've just let that vampire chick eat you!" responds an annoyed Elliot Reid.

He stares off into space for a few seconds and then says, "Now that would make good research."

Elliot sighs. Willow had warned her to keep this whole Slayer thing a secret, but she thought for sure that J.D. wouldn't make a big deal out of it, even if she the only reason she told him was because saved him from a hot vampire that had taken him out into an alley.

Suddenly Doug runs across the cafeteria, screaming.

"Mrs. Davis just sat up!"

"Frick!" yells Elliot as she gets up to take care of it

Luckily, everyone just passes it off as Doug's crazy belief that the corpses in the morgue are out to get him, not realizing that the dead do rise sometimes.


	2. Death Note

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

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"…so you see Miss Amane, you need training, but we can't allow you to join us as long as you support this Kira fellow," says Giles, "We believe he is evil and we can't have Slayers who support such blatant use of dark magic."

Misa becomes angry, "I won't! Kira is…"

A covert look from Light shuts her up.

"Mr. Giles, I've also been trying to convince Misa to give up this obsession with Kira. Hopefully we can bring her around. I'm sure she'll be willing to publicly denounce him, is that acceptable?" asks Light.

"I believe so, Mr. Yagami," he responds, "If you'll excuse me, I must be going."

"Of course."

After he leaves, Misa gives Light a confused look.

"Light, why?"

"Simple, with their resources and knowledge of the supernatural at our disposal, no one will stand in my way of becoming the God of a new world."


	3. Friends

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

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"Phoebe, what was that?!" asks a horrified Monica, "And why did it make such as mess when you stabbed it?!"

"Duh, that was a vampire," Phoebe responds, putting her stake back into her purse, "I already told you guys about them remember? And about how I'm a vampire Slayer? The lesbian witch told me."

"Yeah, but I just thought you were being Phoebe!"

"Hey, I warned you not to invite people into your new house after dark."

"Again, I thought that was just one of your things! Besides, she looked like a lost little girl."

Phoebe rolls her eyes, "Everyone knows you should never trust little girls, even if they aren't vampires."


	4. The Big Bang Theory

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

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"I refuse to believe it! It's not possible!" declares Sheldon as he and Penny climb the stairs to their apartments.

"Sheldon, you just watched as I stabbed them in the hearts and they exploded into dust," responds Penny.

"That was some kind of hallucination. Vampires cannot exist. Everything I stand for denies the existence of such things!"

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but vampires and demons do exist and I was magically given superpowers to fight them."

The door to Sheldon's apartment opens and Leonard steps out.

"Hey guys, what's up?" he says.

"Oh, our neighbor just violated the laws of the universe and if you'll excuse me I have to go disprove the existence of vampires for her," he rushes past Leonard and into the apartment.

Leonard gives Penny a confused look and she only shrugs.


	5. Law and Order

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

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"I'm sorry Jack, I can't support you on this," Serena says.

"Why not? He murdered that man in cold blood," Jack asks.

Serena remembers the first vampire she had killed with her fellow slayers. He had tortured a little girl for weeks before finally killing and turning her. Another had killed the first vampire, but she had been forced to stake the thing wearing that little girl's face.

A few weeks later, her group fought against a cult of demons that was trying to open a gateway to a hell dimension by sacrificing teenagers. There had been so much blood and fluids everywhere.

Serena has killed a lot of things, but the one thing she had been taught was that it was never okay to kill a human. Humans have souls, they can be redeemed.

"I just can't condemn a man to death."


End file.
